On strike!

N: "You, on strike? From what?"

Brett: "From blogging about food."

N: "But you haven't posted about anything on your blog for a couple of weeks. If your strike is to be effective, don't you have to write about something frequently enough that people will actually miss you when you take the day off?"

B: [Indignantly] "Did it ever occur to you that I may have been silently holding a one-person strike for the past 2 weeks, demonstrating to my readers what the Internet will be like without food blogs."

N: "You mean without your food blog. Do you seriously expect anyone to buy that horse pucky [edited, in case any of N's second graders read this]?"

B: [Sheepishly] "Well, it's plausible..."

N: "To you, maybe. Seems to me more like you've been on vacation from your blog, busy working on something else. Have you told them what you're working on yet?"

B: "No. And I won't today, because I'm not blogging about food, remember?"

N: "Remind me again why you're on vaca... er... strike."

B: "Well, Pim has organized a Day Without Food Blogs (see here for a list of participating bloggers) to encourage food bloggers to refrain from blogging about food today in order to draw attention to some legislation proposed by dastardly lobbyists from large telecom companies and Internet service providers..."

N: "Did you just say dastardly? Nobody uses that word any more. Who do you think you are, Dudley Do-Right?"

B: [Long pause, combined with a stinging glare] "As I was saying. This proposed legislation will end Net Neutrality by allowing phone companies and Internet service providers to create what will amount to a two-tiered system. It's a little complex for my tech-phobic brain to comprehend, but there's a lot of analogies about plumbing and construction out there involving small and large pipes, dirt roads and super highways. Read or listen to former Secretary of  Labor Robert Reich's explanation here. Basically, if this legislation passes, when you want to access my little blog, it will feel as if you were sucking Jello up a swizzle stick..."

N: "A what?"

B: "A swizzle stick. You know, those two super narrow plastic straws attached to one another that you use to stir your coffee at Starbucks."

N: "First of all, I don't go to Starbucks. Secondly, I think those plastic things are called coffee stirrer thingies."

B: [Sigh] "Any way, when you want to access a site like ABC or The New York Times, their content will arrive at the speed of that beer bong you used at that fraternity party back in college."

N: "I never used a beer bong."

B: "Well, I didn't mean you, per se. I meant you, the reader."

N: "Then why'd you say 'you' when you meant 'they'? Besides, how do you know that any of them used a beer bong?"

B: "It's all part of the analogy to get my point across about the legislation."

N: "Right. What was it? Blogs are Jello through coffee stirrer thingies and paid sites are beer through beer bongs. Is that the gist of it?"

B: "Yes."

N: "Wow, that is dastardly. Aside from your self-proclaimed 'strike,' what can we do to prevent this legislation from passing?"

B: "Go to savetheinternet.com right now and sign the petition. If you live in the United States, write to your Congressperson and Senator, too, to show your support for preserving the democracy of the Web."

N: "Maybe you should start posting again, Brett, so that your readers will have something to be afraid of missing."

B: "Yes, yes. Don't you have some homework to go correct or something?"

Net Neutrality|Day Without Food Blogs

Comments

[samsam]

next week I think we should have a day when all the food bloggers HAVE to use the word dastardly in their post with bonus points for superfluous use of a swizzle stick.

Thanks for the chuckle, you two!

[kalyn]

Very funny.

[Tana]

Brilliant, Brett. Jell-O through a swizzle stick. I love it.

[James Van Dyk]

Great job.Question,Why didn't someone tell me to stop using beer bongs 20 years ago? Should I be stopping now?

[Lisa D. Walker]

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. What in the world of swizzel sticks is going on? We need to protect our freedom of the internet. I certainly don't want to see In Praise Of Sardines become In Praise Of AT&T Sardines. Let's all do something while we can. C'mon, like swizzel sticks aren't unresourceful enough.